I wanted to cover again the feelings a partner or family member has when placing a loved one in a care home. It’s something we never expect to have to do, when you have lived with someone for maybe 40 or 50 years this is a terrible, emotional wrench, it truly is like losing someone before they have actually passed.

The first reaction is guilt asking yourself, why could I not cope, I should be looking after them, I have failed. This can be a seriously emotional draining time but it must be remembered that if you have been looking after your loved one, which is a 24hr job, you will be burnt out physically and emotionally already. Being on your own coping with someone who experiences mood swings, agitation and aggression can be very hard. And in turn your behaviour can become irrational because you are tired and no longer in control.

Remember Jim, who I talked about in a previous article. Jim used to shout and scream at Fran his wife who had vascular dementia, when he was helping her get changed, calling her names and saying she was the most stupid woman he had ever met. This is an example of a carer who is no longer coping, he is getting annoyed, out of control, frustrated and very verbally unkind. Obviously this is an extreme example but makes my point. A few examples of care giver burnout are withdrawal from friends and family, erratic sleep patterns and loss of appetite.

Larchfield House are proud to say that we take the wellbeing of our residents and their families very seriously. We are looking at forming a family support group so experiences can be shared where there is not only someone there to listen but to know that you are not on your own. No one should have to make the journey alone. If you would like to know more, why not give us a call 01628639428 all conversations are confidential.